i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
