I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
