i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
