It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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