Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I just put wine in my tea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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