But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
