White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
