The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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