i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
