shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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