So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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