im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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