I didn't shave. On purpose
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize