nut hugger
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
