I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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