Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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