You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
