Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
