but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
