Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
