just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
