Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
