Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
