Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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