i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
