I didn't shave. On purpose
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
