today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize