I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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