You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
