Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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