Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
