she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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