Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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