i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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