My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
