I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
