singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
