i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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