that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
