What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
