Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I looked at my own cervix.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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