Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
