ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
