I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
