i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Boobs are out for the taking
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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