I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
