Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
