Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
