It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize