the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
