this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
