I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
