mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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