Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
