can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
