The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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