He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
