I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I touched a dick in church today
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
