Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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