Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
