can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
