i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
