I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You made out with two different species that night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
