i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
