We should be called the Road Head Warriors
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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