I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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