It's Friday. Sex?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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