Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
