he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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