it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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