I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We're like a lot better than the average bears
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
