I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize